


In-Between Time and Time

by PoisonedMind



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, New Years, Reality, love love and love it's an absolute love fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 08:18:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17260790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonedMind/pseuds/PoisonedMind
Summary: And he loves him.





	In-Between Time and Time

**Author's Note:**

> What better way than to start 2k19 as the sappy idiot that I am?
> 
> I was driving home from a New Years party and listening to music and suddenly my brain said, "Dan loves him" and then this whole thing was birthed. 
> 
> Happy New Year!

Dan loves him. He loves him so fucking much. 

He loves him even though there’s still half an hour until midnight and Phil is sound asleep on their couch already. 

He loves him even though Phil’s hair is all over the place, the poor imitation of a quiff dangling down over his forehead, more reminiscent of the fringe than the quiff, actually. 

He loves him even though Phil’s mouth hangs open and he’s definitely drooling on Dan’s sad pimp blanket. 

He loves him and it almost hurts him sometimes, how much he feels for this dorky guy, hurts him in that spot behind his ribs where his heart sits, every single beat being for him since a windy day back in October.

Ten years ago. 

In ten months it’ll be ten years ago they met in person. Ten years ago Dan stepped out onto the platform at Manchester Piccadilly, eyes scanning every face until catching on a black fringe, birdnest to be fair, Dan chuckles, and he’s never looked back since.

Ten years ago Dan ran up to Phil before stopping dead in his tracks, staring, just staring, staring, staring. 

It’s kind of funny now, looking back, the way Dan held his breath as if Phil would reject him, decide that Dan wasn’t what he wanted, because Phil’s told him countless times, again and again, that he was so nervous he’d tripped thrice and walked into angry people twice before laying eyes on Dan and falling once. Dan had punched him for that joke, in the shoulder, before wrapping his arms around him because holy shit, Dan loves him. Bad jokes and all.

It’s ten years ago Dan’s heart put down roots and bound itself to this boy, man now, half sitting, half lying on the couch, their couch, in their shared home. 

Sometimes, the reality of it all takes Dan’s breath away. 

Sometimes, the reality of it all makes his stomach squeeze and lungs constrict because he’s hit with the realisation that this is _it_. It’s scary and it’s big, realising he stumbled upon the rest of his life at the tender age of 18 and sometimes, in the dark of night and dark of his mind, it feels _too_ scary, _too_ big. 

But in the light of day, Dan will roll over in bed and find Phil drooling on his pillow, snores filling the silence, and he doesn’t care how scary or how big it feels, because he found this guy, who snores, who’s stubborn, who gets under his skin and can annoy him like no other, and he doesn’t ever want to lose that. 

Dan loves him and the fear of losing him is all-consuming, it’s gnawing and asphyxiating. 

The lengths he’ll go to scare him sometimes, his willingness to give himself up completely for another person. If Phil asked, Dan would cut out his heart and hand it over to him, no fucking questions asked. 

He’d move to America, to Australia or fuck it, even Antarctica, live with the penguins, if Phil wanted it, because Dan’s ties to this earth isn’t a flat in London or Manchester, it’s the snoring dumbass lying on the couch beside him. 

Ten years ago on a windy October day at Manchester Piccadilly, Phil wrapped his arms around Dan, effectively severing the strings keeping his feet on the ground and when Phil’s lips finally met his, Dan realised gravity wasn’t the force binding him to Earth, Phil was. 

Is.

How could he ever survive losing that? 

And maybe that’s what love is, the fear of losing someone, but then, it’s also so much more. At least, Dan feels like it’s so much more. 

It’s the inside jokes, the banter, their friends yelling about them cheating when they win another round of Taboo, it’s the quiet moments shared between them. It’s existing together and continuing to choose to exist together, Dan thinks. 

He’s not the sappy type, neither of them are, really. They don’t share _I love yous_ every day, or very often at all. Instead, they poke each other, annoy each other, shove and push and slap, they make each other laugh like it’s their sole purpose in life. Dan calls him idiot and twat and spork and Phil does it too, when Dan manages to really get under his skin. 

But Dan feels it. He feels the _I love yous_ in every single beat of his heart, feels it colour his black soul. 

He feels it strongly and sometimes it’s a ferocious kind of love, sometimes it’s soft and mellow, but God, he feels it every time Phil smiles, every time Phil touches him, every time Phil sneaks into his thoughts. He feels it hot and burning when Phil takes him in his hand and makes him feel so good. And he feels it seething and desperate when Phil is angry with him.

Sometimes, he just feels it. 

When Phil is sitting on the couch, playing video games and swearing like the internet wouldn’t believe, Dan the only witness to the filth flying out over Phil’s lips, he feels it well up in him, like a damn tidal wave, flooding his whole goddamn bloodstream.

When he’s fallen into the hole inside his mind, trapped and cold and lonely, and Phil jumps into the ugliness with him, with Dan, smiling like he would do it again and again and again for eternity if that could alleviate the pain from Dan, he feels it surge through him like oxygen. 

Or when Phil has fallen asleep before midnight on New Years Eve, drooling and snoring, Dan feels it settle in his chest, clenching around his heart in painful, blissful waves as he watches him on the couch, sprawling porcelain skin dotted with nameless constellations.

And he knows Phil feels the same. 

He’s insecure about many things, everything, except that. 

Even when Phil doesn’t speak to him, when he ignores him or sends him frustrated glares, Dan knows he feels the same. 

A sigh spills from Phil’s lips, the soft sound swirling in the lethargic silence and then he grunts and moves under the blanket.

The position he ends up contorting his body into looks awkward, uncomfortable, and Dan wakes him up, hand on his shoulder, “Phil, you slug, don’t sleep into the New Year,” because he knows Phil will grumble about his sore neck in the morning. 

As the clock ticks midnight and the fireworks explode the sky in colours, Dan says, “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you liked it even though it's a dangerously sweet fluff fest!!
> 
> If you liked this fic, you can give it a cheeky [reblog/like](https://bie-lovers.tumblr.com/post/181620423011/in-between-time-and-time) on tumblr if you want to and I'm [bie-lovers](https://bie-lovers.tumblr.com/) on tumblr if you want to say hi, but no pressure lol :)  
> 


End file.
